Saturday, 03 July 2010 at 08:43
Ano’ng masasabi mo dito?
What stage na po?
Uhm, hmmm, stage three na….
What’s the next step po?
You will undergo some treatments. Either you have your mastectomy first followed by series of chemotherapy, or baligtad.
Doc, what are the chances po?
40-60% chances of survival.
When do I need to start the treatment po?
ASAP. Each day counts.
There. It was as simple as that. I was not hysterical. Prior to my last visit to my doctor, I had already did some researches about the type of lump found in my left breast. My doctor knew I do researches, so she had expected that I already knew my condition.
I knew it was CANCER. What I did not expect was that it would be in that stage. According to my research, cancer has only four stages, the last is non-treatable. Hospitals DO NOT treat the stage four. Mine is already in this advanced stage. If I do chemo or not, it would almost still be the same. I do not have much chances.
It’s confirmed. My researches were confirmed. Thoughts came running wildly in my mind. Oh my, I’m gonna be bald, wait, I haven’t had my MS grad pic yet. I’m supposed to visit some places, I want to go to Vietnam. Then I thought of my family. Mom’s coming back in December, and she’ll be staying for good. I don’t want her seeing me in that condition. We’ve never had much time together while growing up, and now, finally, she’ll be staying in our home, and I would be…bald and weak?
How was I supposed to tell everyone? I had to call some friends; but I couldn’t even utter the word.
I love my job. It’s giving me much freedom to enjoy the other facets of my life while at the same time earning enough. I don’t want to lose this.
These and all. The future suddenly became blurred. I was seeing everything the way I saw and heard people during my surgery under general anesthesia. I was almost aware of my surroundings, but I was so weak that I couldn’t even think of my next action.
D-A-B-D-A. I still remember these stages. I wanted to locate where I was in these; but I had to ask myself. What was I feeling prior to knowing my illness? Holy cow, I was perfectly alright! Why would I think of anything about dying when I never even felt anything that I would be dying anytime soon?
Get up, Lizet! Don’t be a fool! I suddenly remembered, I am a researcher.
So there, I did some researches, and I couldn’t be luckier. I am going to start treatments, but not a chemo. The prices may also be expensive, but I am going to live. I am going to continue battling for life. I am going to grow old with the people I love.
I am blessed to have my family, relatives, and friends who continue to tell me that I am going to live longer. I wish I could thank you enough. You know who you are
Please continue to join my journey. I will be a new me. I just need a few more months. My life continues as it was before, but with some precautions, oppps, I mean lots of precautions.
See you in December.