Love really hurts

The night makes me realized that the reason behind this on and off misery is the absence of this despicable emotion for someone.  If he's telling me I've no emotion, then why am I hurting?  

I am happy, because I am a happy person; but this does not preclude the fact that I am also sad.  One needs to be sad to feel the happiness.  This completes me, but sadness torments me more than ever.  If I can control myself to laugh or smile just so I wouldn't feel this emptiness, I would be willing to dump it somewhere.  Sometimes, it's just really so unbearable that I have to contain myself with the littlest enjoyable thing that I have in my hand, or somewhere.  

Right now, I am sad.  Maybe because I was happy last night, or the other night.  Or maybe because I've learned that I am just a...whatever.  It would be too much to ask.  'might as well contain myself again with the littlest "attention" that I get.  I am not expecting that tomorrow would be better, no, I don't think so.  I am just hoping that I could at least forget about this, and finally find peace of mind.

How could it be possible that I am inlove, and hurting....