Wanderer of Wonders

If you could sing some lullabyes for me during night and day, and then catch me when I need your arms the most; then perhaps I could visit your dreams till like eternity. Just so i can smell your presence, and please say you'd let me to.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Joel Espeneda died last October 28, 2006, saturday, 2 pm in Manila.

I don't want this to sound so shocking, but I want all of you to sympathize what i had felt when i received the txt from Vince that "there was a rumor that Joel died". I was in ajeepney almost 30 minutes before I could get home, I just had an overnight swimming party with my schoolmates. And I had to txt everybody whom I knew would know all the facts, and yes, it was true, Joel was gone.


The news that he passed away came to be a horror to me, not just because we had a very close relationship, but because I never expected anyone in my contemporary to die at this very young age. Aside from Mike whom I lost about less than 2 years ago, I don't know much people who have died so young. I had realized at this point how fragile life can be, you never know when you're next in line. It gave me the fear that I may be gone from Earth without even realizing how sweet and sour it is to live. As the text message goes, "a person asked Lord Buddha 'what surprises u most about mankind' Lord Buddha replied, ' they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. By thinking anxiously about future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor for the future. They live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..." Sometimes we take our life for granted that we tend to forget the most important thing in life, to be essentially happy.

JOel was a dear classmate, a good friend who would listen to all the angsts one had, a brave comrade, a big brother, a sympathetic counselor. He had been like that to me for almost a decade. He may not have lived his life to the fullest but I knew that if there really is the existence of souls and spirit, he would be happy. He was loved by many, was adored by all his students and friends, and achieved what he had aimed for his family 6 years ago when he got married after our graduation. As for me, I would try to live up to his expectation, that is...to fight and be brave in the midst of turmoil ( that was what he told me during college, he cut out my fears.)

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