Now What????

Time is slowly passing me by. Yet I always have this feeling that I don't get to catch more of time to do what I want and need to do. Time is too slow in so short a time, late for me to realize I've wasted too much time and exerted too much effort on things I shouldn't give even a millisecond.

I want to go back to school. No, not to Law school, I fear that I will be wasting my time again studying Penal code and Civil codes, and may not even pass the Bar, I'm not that confident enough i guess. Besides, I don't think I can send myself now to Law, damn, books even scare my little pocket. I think I've learned enough as far as what a layman could learn, enough for those units i've earned. And I can't waste another years and end up wondering why I pursued that.

I really want to be in the line of journalism or broadcasting but opportunities do not knock twice. I should have stayed longer in our cable production, but damn, I didn't have the guts to be the Executive Producer of the whole station. You see, I was young, too young when they designated me as the E.P.. And goddam politics will always be the shadow, sometimes the master, of media.

This coming school year I might continue my masterals. Just a little confused now whether I go for my skills, or the one with job assurance for me. Or choose what would really make me happy, stay in a remote area, have a simple living with the deprived children and people there. But maybe I'll stick with MAED for now. I've exerted more effort with this. All I need now is to ready my finances, find another job which will give me enough time (and save energy) in going back and forth to UPLB. And perhaps, spend sometime again to may favorite places at LB. The Makiling, with all it's big big trees. This will be fun, I wish I can afford more units, fare is even a big burden to my pocket. And I wish mom would agree, so she can pay my house bills for a while..hehe (umm, maybe i can still do that, we'll see)

Huh! Am I kidding myself? Was I not supposed to be applying abroad? Didn't I plan this before that I should stop hoping to make a decent living in the Philippines? Argghh, I'm under lucid interval again. Ummm...The plan's still there I guess. I'll find better opportunities If I will be able to finish this masteral, or I can go for distance learning. Hooray!

(I posted this to give myself a direction)