I'm a bit back today.

Yeah, been absent for some months intentionally.  Hmm, I had decided for a while that I should forget about this blogging, I should stop writing poems, essays, and stupid diary.  It makes me insane, really.  I live in illusion, I live in my essays, and they only give me pains in my stomach and heart.  I can't live like this forever, as I believed.

It's May 22nd, about 3 weeks before the class starts again.  For the past few weeks I stayed in myb home, I've felt so hopeless, like before.  I have no life, I have no illusion.  Damn, I shouldn't have stopped writing.

For now, I'm trying to regain my craft for writing.  I should start a book or something, I should continue my novel which I've started last year.  Mark said I should write a book, both for craft and intellectual prostitution... I only laughed.  Then everything came back in my memory, that had been my dream, eversince, even when I was in elementary days, I should write a book.  But I somehow lost all my inhibitions, all my longings, should I be frustrated again?  But I am actually frustrated now, chriss, I'm not inlove, and no one is there.  I wish I can be inlove, so I can dedicate my art for this one.  (hmmm, for the first one to give a comment for this post, I'd like to dedicate this for u, and perhaps make u my, ehek, ano ba yan!  Feeling!).

So, uhum, okay, I will try to get back to my old habits.  I'd post again, just give me a sign, hehe.